Experiences

I shared my testimony for the first time in a year on sunday.  It is so crazy how clearly the Holy Ghost lets me know when I should bear my testimony.  I start getting nervous with goosebumps all over and a pit in my stomach that no matter how hard I try to get my mind on something else it will not go away until I go up there.  It is definitely so nerve racking for me because I really am not an outgoing person.  I don't like being up in front of people and having all the spotlight on me ... I just really don't like everybody looking at me and I am not an elinquint speaker so I feel like I can't get my words across the way that I want to ... I am just a mess and I don't like it! ... but when the Holy Ghost prompts me to go up I have to obey.   I felt like I needed to share an experience that happened this last week that left me in awe of how powerful satan is and how much I let him affect my life.  I decided if I felt inspired to share this with people I barely even knew I should probably write it down in my journal so I could remember it always and share it with my children.  So here it goes .... (hopefully I won't be judged too much :))
So I want to start out by saying that Thursday is my "show night"  there are a  couple of my favorite shows that I get so excited to watch and that I really don't like missing!  Well this day we had a playdate with a friend planned, at the last minute my mom was coming by and I had agreed to pick up my sister in law (who was on bed rest) from a baby shower and take her home.  (Which I did not have a problem with at all!!!)  I also managed to make friendship bread, put dinner in the crockpot,  and pay the rent ... by 5:30 when I was driving home from paying the rent I was feeling pretty good about myself and how I had things so under control.  (mistake #1)  Then I get a call from vincen telling me that since I was already on the freeway he needed me to pick him up in sandy in 45 minutes because he was going to drop a car off to a customer.  By this time it was 6:00, the girls were tired of being in the car and hungry and all I could think about is the taco soup I made at home and my shows that were going to start in less than an hour, but I agreed to do it.   I got to the park and ride in sandy around 6:15 and took the girls out of their carseats so they could have a break from sitting in them and then waited and instead of being the wife who is so happy to be helping their husband that works so hard to provide for them, I was sitting there getting more and more mad and annoyed!!! ( I did TRY to talk myself out of being annoyed and mad and being that wife I just mentioned, after all this customer just spent 7,000 on his BMW, the least I could do is be happy that he brought his car to Vincen and helped us get food on the table!!! )  He showed up around 7 and then didn't get to the car until around 7:20 .... Yeah trying to be the happy wife went right out of the window! I had HAD IT!  I had been sitting there for an hour, the girls were getting into EVERYTHING, I already missed one of my favorite shows, and we were all starving!!!! As soon as he got in the car I jumped right in and started telling him everything he did wrong up until this point which only made him more angry that I was upset, so began the argument ..... Me not feeling important, Him trying hard to provide for the family and owning his own business, and on and on ....  At this point I am already driving and we didn't communicate very well about wiether or not I was going to be taking him back to get his car from work that night (which would have been the easiest thing to do) or waking up early and taking him.  so the next thing I know I am on the freeway heading towards home. By this time it is 7:45 and I am not about to turn around and take him back now. Which just started yet another argument about how I didn't communicate very well and how he didn't listen very well.... and on and on.  All of a sudden I realize something (in the middle of us arguing) and I just start crying and say, "Satan wanted this to happen!"  You see, we had just talked about on sunday how we needed to go to the temple more since we haven't been in awhile.  I told him that he could go at least once a week since the south jordan temple was on his way to work.  We decided that he would start going every friday morning .... so he had planned on going the next morning and now it probably wasn't going to happen since I would be the one taking him to work.  I was crying because I felt like I had fallen right into satan's trap.  I didn't resist temptation and become better instead I embraced it and just kept being annoyed.  I realize it sounds stupid but I was very, very dissapointed in myself.  I know that no one is perfect but I DO have power to withstand temptation, I AM stronger than satan and instead of showing those qualities I showed how weak I really was and  again I felt totally dissapointed in myself.  Immediately we stopped arguing and started apalogizing, realizing the things that we were annoyed about  really were STUPID. (no surprise ... usually how it goes)  I decided then that I was going to repent!  I was going to get up at 5 in the morning and take vincen to his car so he could make it to the temple.  I wanted Heavenly Father ... and Satan to know how important the temple is to me and how sorry I was.  So that is what I did!  Now before you start thinking I was a bad mother for taking my girls from their bed that early in the morning and putting them in a freezing cold car, I realized that 5 in the morning was better because they would just sleep the whole time instead of 7:30 when they would be awake and  unhappy that they were in their car seat for that long period of time.  It all worked out for the best!  I feel like Heavenly Father wanted me to have this experience so I could learn and grow from it.   Instead of getting mad at satan for temting me, which is what he is going to be doing my whole life, I need to look at myself and ask, why I am giving into temptation when I am more powerful and stronger than satan?  I am very grateful to Heavenly Father who is forgiving and very merciful.  That he always has faith in me and knows what I am capable of.  I AM grateful for a husband that loves our family so much that he takes his job as provider seriously and works so hard to provide for us!  THANK YOU  and I LOVE YOU! Learn from this expericnce girls!!! :) 

Being the best me

Lately it just seems like time is just passing me by and every week I think, "what have I done with my time? Answer: Nothing.  ovbiously I do things but I feel like I could do more and be better.  My girls are growing so fast.  I feel like I need to treasure every moment with them because there will come a time where they won't need me (or THINK they need me)  as much anymore and then what will I do? I will be .... lost. BUT hopefully when that time comes, I taught them well enough that they will be able to make good choices on their own. but until that day comes ... I MUST START NOW!!! I decided the best way to do this is to lead by example! I need to be living the way that I want them to one day live.  I need to be happy and enjoy life like I want them to one day do.  I need to get down on the floor and make them more important than anything else so they will know that is what you do with your kids ... you let them be kids and you be a kid with them!  I need to read my scriptures and say my prayers daily so they know that is what you need to do because when you are a mom you need Heavenly Father's help all day, ever day!!!  I am just so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me so much and is so forgiving and has trusted me with these two beautiful girls.  I feel truly blessed!

Summer. Is it really over?

So I cannot believe how fast summer has gone by!!!  I feel like we had a short amount of time to really do anything but we do so much with that time ... just crazy how fast time flies!  I thought I would post some pictures of some of our adventures this summer.  Now remember I am usually not a camera happy person although I wish I could be better So this isn't even half of what we have done this summer!!! I hope you enjoy what I do have!

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Only had this one picture of us swimming but we went ALL the time!!!! WE LOVE SWIMMING!!

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I know it doesn't look like it with our jackets but this really is summer ... like I said summer didn't really start until July!!!

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We all ran the 5k for pony express days! Well I pushed them in the stroller! ha ha

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Adallyn being maulled as usual.  I dont' even know if that is the spelling of maulled ... I am calling it good!

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Girls Celebration in Park City!!!

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Kaydence's friend Holynd.  She loves Holynd and Holynd loves her.  We like letting them play together.  When they play together they like getting into trouble.  This time was lotion all over in the hair.  Just be glad I didn't have pictures of the poop incidentS (Yes there have been more than one)

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As a mommy I clean up multiple messes a day and I guess I just get used to it because I let this happen. :)

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I went in there one morning and this is what I found! Yes she is asleep!  Uncomfortable ... YES.  Adorable .... YES!!!!

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Kaydence wanted to take a picture with my camera... this is what she got! haha

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Got to see my brother be sealed to mom ... AMAZING experience.  Can't wait until we are all an eternal family!!! :) (Really wish I knew how to turn this picture!)


So that was it! Like I said we did a TON of things in that short amount of time I just didn't take enough pictures! REALLY need to be better. Although I am sad to see summer go, I am very excited for fall!  I love the smells and the excitement of the holidays!!!!  I got so excited that I already got all my fall stuff out and I am really tempted to put a fall scent in my scentsy candle melter thing. I don't know the name obviously! I might just go and do that right now!!!!

Preschool ..... ALREADY?

Me having a little girl in preschool, one word, CRAZY!!!!  Although I was a little sad to think that Kaydence was old enough to be going to preschool and that I was going to be leaving her for two hours with someone else,  I was really excited that she got to go and learn.  Even if what she was going to be learning about was colors and the alphabet. I think I was more excited than she was!!! ha ha   

         

Thank you mom for giving me the chalkboard idea.  I LOVE IT!!! (I think all the other moms were jealous that they didn't think of it themselves! hee hee)  Kaydence absolutely loves her teacher, Miss Marcie!  After she got home from school she pretended she was the teacher all day and had students.  It was the cutest thing.  I am so glad that she has something to look forward to every friday (and me too) !

I told Kaydence if she was good for her first day of school that I would take her to arctic circle:

This was so much fun!  I remember being little and having these fun little outings with my mom!  Kaydence, I can't believe how big you are getting!  I love my two little girls so much!  It turned out to be a great day! (even though I really didn't get anything done that I needed too! somtimes those are the best days though)

YELLOWSTONE!!!

 The beginnings of our road trip to Yellowstone!!! We were excited!!

 We decided to break the trip up and stay in a hotel one night so that we wouldn't have to do so much driving with the girlies!!! Worked out much better! Happier girls, made for a happier mommy!

Okay so this was pretty much our first family vacation that was outside of Utah and I feel bad that it had to be with certain people who shall remain nameless but I think overall it was so much fun!! To tell you the truth I really didn't even care to ever to go to Yellowstone.  I didn't get why people would want to drive around all day just to see some wildlife here and there and a bunch of trees! Boy was I surprised when I got up there and I felt like a little kid again everytime I saw an animal even the buffalo that we saw a million times! Not to mention how beautiful it was up there, I LOVED LOVED LOVED it! Being in those kind of places just leaves me feeling at awe with how amazing and wonderful our Heavenly Father in heaven is and this place that he created for us to live in.  I can't imagine what the celestial kingdom will be like!! It's at these places that I feel humbled and blessed for the knowledge and testimony I have of our Savior! 
Any way .... there were a TON more pics but I might post those lata!!!! I am very grateful for the opportunity that we had to go on this wonderfully beautiful vacation!

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 "Guess what uncle Dallas? My birthday is coming up!"  I love that she said this and has been so excited for her birthday! My little baby is growing up! It's not fair that time goes by so fast and we only get a little bit of time with them before they get their own families. I need to love every minute with them now!

 Taking a break from opening all her presents.  It is a lot of work!

 hasn't stopped playing with this since she got it!

 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS PICTURE!!!

cute jammies!

Kaydence, You are already three.  I remember when we found out that you were going to have a birth defect , it was the day we found out we were having a girl.  I remember feeling so overwhelmed and feeling sad by the thought of you in pain as soon as you came into this world.  I received a blessing shortly after we found out and an overwhelming feeling of peace entered into my heart and I knew that everything was going to be okay.  You were in the hospital for two months.  It was hard for me and daddy to see you in there but I would come up everday and just hold you.  I hated leaving you at the hospital but I knew that you were in safe hands because my blessing told me there would be angels that would be with you!  You were such a little fighter, it was like you knew before you came here that you were going to have to go through this trial, and you were so strong.  Your personality now explains why Heavenly Father new you could go through it!  You were a fighter and you still are.  I hope you will always keep that fiesty attitude of yours and always remember that Mommy and Daddy love you so much and that Heavenly Father Loves you too! He will always be there for you no matter what! Mommy and Daddy will not always be perfect parents, we will always be striving to be that way but it's just a plain fact that we will never be perfect but Heavenly Father is perfect.  Even if you don't decide to come to mommy and daddy at times I hope you will always remember that you can go to Him.  Through him we can become perfect.  I love you so much!!!! I can't believey you are three!  Happy Birthday!!!! :)

Love, Mommy